Pairings: B/C C/? B/?
Disclaimer: All the Seven guys are NOT mine. They belong to MGM.<sniff> All minor original characters that somehow show their faces are mine.
Note: this story was supposed to be a much more simple thing than it is now. But as the muse visited and I couldn't write for lack of free time I was cursed with three times ideias than I had initially. All this began as I was listening to Shakira's song. My beloved Nancy helped with the Spanish translation! THANK YOU NANCY!!!:)
|voy a dejar
que mi guitarra diga todo lo que yo
no sť decir por mŪ
o quizŠs deba esperar
a que el insulto del reloj
acabe de planear mi fin
duelen tanto las sonrisas
cuesta un mundo respirar
es que no tenerte aquŪ ya me hace mal
|I'll leave it
to my guitar to say all that I
don't know how to myself
or maybe you should wait
for the insult of the clock
to stop planning my end
the smiles hurt so much
it takes the world to breathe
for to not have you here now makes me ill.
me sigue rodeando
la sombra de ti
y siguen rodando por ahŪ
todas las palabras que dijimos
y los besos que nos dimos
pensando en ti
your shadow keeps surrounding me
and there, all the words that we said and all the kisses we
gave, keep rolling
thinking of you.
que hay pedazos de tu boca sin querer
regados por aquŪ
y que tropiezo cada dŪa sin pensar
con un viejo recuerdo mŠs
y alguna nueva historia gris
si no puedo estar contigo
ya no puedo estar sin ti
cada vez se hace mŠs duro ser feliz
|you should know
there are pieces of your mouth undeliberately
and that I stumble each day without thinking
with yet another old memory
and some new history in grey
if I cannot be with you
I now cannot be without you
each time happiness comes harder
|Shakira- Sombra de ti|
In the midst of a red dust cloud Buck waved to his departing friend. Their eyes met one last time, then half of his soul was gone with another one. His whole world seemed to have lost its natural course. He felt betrayed. He felt robbed.
He turned his back to the now barely visible pair of horses and headed straigh to the saloon.
From the shades of the jail's window JD watched as his big brother's defeated frame crossed the street. His fist pounding on the wall, he wished he could hit the responsibles for such despair. Because even if he had never felt like that, JD knew that what he saw was the pure despair of losing a loved one.
After listening to Buck's story last night all he wanted now was to kill Chris Larabee. Or at least knock some senses into the man.
Twelve years before...
From the top of a high rock Buck gazed at the arid orange landscape that surrounded him. Wall rocks, dust and a few yellowish vegetation told him that this would not be the easiest or the most pleasant place to spend his life. But damn if he came here to stay for life!
He was after adventure, danger and lots of freedom. Not that he had hadn't enough of dangerous times in war, but it was diferent now. It was not duty and it was for fun. He was not supposed to kill anyone this time.
Inhaling the dry air, feeling it's earthy aroma, the young man sighed and smiled. He patted his horse's head and leaning next to its ear shared his intentions.
"Looks like we'll have what we are looking for, don't you think? Let's ride boy!" And with a loud scream horse and rider went almost flying through the red dust from desert.
+ + + + + + +
It was almost dusk when he reached a valley where the clear waters of a small river run peacefully. He dismounted and lead his tired animal close to the water and fresh grass that grow all over the river bank.
Throwing his hat off his head and peeling his bandana from his neck he washed his face and drank the cool and welcomed liquid. He was tired after riding all day and the coolness from the water and night air felt like a blessing over his body. Neverminding any kind of perils that a loner traveller could face he allowed his eyes to drop shut and his limbs to relax as a delicious and deep slumber possesed him.
In his deep sleep Buck couldn't have heard horses coming. Even if they were about dozen horses and that some riders were quite loud. He kept dreaming. First he saw images from his childhood, of him in the middle of so many lovely girls, his ma's friends. They talked to him, played with him, laughed of his tricks. He was pleased then when he found himself in his ma's sweet embrace. That's paradise...but then his wellbeing sensations turned to despair as he found himself locked in the hold of two strong masculine arms of a nurse in a war hospital. He screamed with fear of losing his legs, so many had lost their limbs...the nurse tried to calm him down, but he screamed and screamed....
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!LET ME GO!!! NOO!!!!!" His arms and legs trashed around trying to knock and kick his imaginary bonds. But he actually felt restraining hands on his shoulders.Damn, he was back in war... He heard a voice urging him to open his eyes. Hands shaking his body. A hot palm slapping his face.
"The man won't wake up Gene!" said a male concerned voice.
"Try hitting his face again!" answered an older and raspy voice.
Buck was about to receive another slap as his eyes shot opened. Looking at him, with a worried expression, he saw shining green eyes and a timid smile.
+ + + + + + +
"Are you okay ?" asked the man whose face was merely centimeters above his just a minute ago.
"Yes, I guess." Buck smiled to the young man sit by his side, he should be around Buckís age, 24 or 26 years old, but it was hard to tell by the moonlight. His dark blond hair fell down his shoulder in a straigh line. His face showed openess and friendship, his fine features a mixture of delicacy and masculinity. His body was lean and moved in precise gestures. The man was an invitation... to what Buck was not sure... yet. "Who are you? And what happened?"
"Me and my friends are taking those horses to a farm not too far from here. We stopped for the night, set camping here. You were sleeping, it seemed. Having one hell of a nightmare. I tried to wake you. Iím sorry for Geneís bad temper. We donít mean any harm to you.My name is Chris." The blond man extended his right hand to Buck who accepted the offer.
"Mine is Buck. Pleasure. Iím a solitaire, without any planned path to follow."
"Good! Then maybe would you like to join us? We wouldnít mind more helping hands with those wilds there!" Chris pointed with his head and fingers to the wild and beautiful horses tied to the few trees that were scattered along the river.
"Yeah.Why not?" Buck laughed as the perspective of making friends and some money arised from seemingly nowhere "Are you paying?"
"Of course!" The other man sounded indignant at first but then his voice softened a bit "But only when we get to the farm. So what do you say?"
"What about the others? Wonít they get angry for having to share their money with another one?"
"No problem at all. I make the decisions here." The blond surprised Buck with his last words. He decided the things...he was the youngest of the group! He decided that he liked the man.
The journey to the farm was just a day and a half following the river. The mood of the hired hands were high and soon Buck felt like he was one of them. Their young leader kept his pace close to their charge, searching and counting the heads every half hour or so.
"You worried of one of them running away or being stolen?" Buck asked while approaching Chrisís white mare.
Chris turned his head to see where his new friend was. "Yeah. And to be sure we did not lose any of them on the way". He waited till the other man was by his side and continued talking. "They cost us lots of money and trouble to allow they to go. I reckon you never worked with these animals?"
"Never. But I was hoping no one would notice!" Buck laughed more to himself than for Chris to hear it. "Since when you are the leader? You are not old enough to be one of so many older guys."
Chris smiled misteriously. "Iím not their leader." Turning to look at Gene, the older man of the group, he asked from the other side of the horses "Hey Gene! Am I your leader?"
The man paused a bit to think about the question then smiling cried back "No Chris! Donít think so!"
Chris looked back at Buck and tilted his head to where Gene was. "See, Iím no leader here. Just got a voice maybe. I was the first to be hired by our boss at the farm, so maybe this would make me a kind of leader. But Iím not."
"But you are treated like one. You know that uh?
"Yes." The blond let a resigned sigh scape his lips "What can I do? They like me!"
He playfully winked with his right eye to Buck, who already felt close to this handsome horseman, and winked back.
Their eyes met and for no more than two seconds their gazes fixed on each other. Chris was the one that turned away, recounting the horses. Buck studied him for a brief moment then turned and rode ahead. He could almost feel a sharp pair of greens piercing his back.
+ + + + + + +
It was night again and the men were all gathered around a big fire where two rabbits were set to cook and roast. Fresh coffee filling all mugs and empty stomachs that waited for dinner.
Buck joined in the conversation that went from a subject to another as quickly as a blink. He shared, and maybe exagerated, just a little, his amourous experiences. Laughed of tales of pratical jokes that the others had tried, exchanged point of views about travelling routes. He was having a good time. His mood only changed when memories of war were raised, no matter if good or bad ones. Then he limited himself to listen, drinking his coffee and ended barely eating his share of food.
Chris noticed the mood swing but kept quiet. He continued sitting with his men when Buck left the fire circle to go sit by himself in the shadows where he had set his saddle and other belongings. All throught the evenning chat he kept checking the tall man atittudes and that retreat felt strangely uncharacteristic.
As the men started to prepare to sleep Chris left them to their own personal bussiness and went talk to Buck, who was still awake and looking as if fighting to not fall asleep.
"Hiya cowboy! Nice guys there!" Buck saluted Chris as he uncerimoniously took a sit by his side.
"They are. But they seemed to upset you." Chris leaned one arm on a bent knee and lit a cigar, turning to Buck he offered another. Buck took it and accepted the fire Chris produced with his match. They inhaled the smoke savouring its taste around their tongues.
"It was just bad memories you know? The war thing." Buck leaned back on his saddle, streatching out his legs, crossing them at the ankles.
"I know. Iíve been there too. But itís over now." Chris, who was seated side by side with Buck turned on the ground to sit looking at his face. "Was the nightmare about it?" his eyes attentive to Buckís expressions.
"What nightmare?" Buck wished he could forget it, that Chris would not talk about it.
"The one you were having when we met. That one. You cried as a mad man, refusing to wake up." Chrisís voice was calm and devoided of any cruel intention. "Actually scared me."
"You scared? Nah!" Buck snorted and smiled lazily and waved with his hand and cigar. Shaking his head he continued smiling but more sadly now. "Yeah. It was about war. I spent some ugly time in a hospital, hurt bad a leg," he patted his right leg "almost lost it. Only thing I can remember of it is that I was saved by some nurse who too soon left me to the cares of some nuns. Don't even know who was he. I was lucky they said."
"You sure are." Chris wondered how lucky indeed the man was. But the funniest thing was that he thought that himself was even luckier. He saw the reluctance of Buck to not shut his eyes. He suddendly took the cigar from Buckís fingers, which barely kept their hold on it, and laying a hand on his chest said he would keep vigil throught the night. "You wont dream it again."
And as if it was the most usual thing to happen Buck allowed that hand to lay over his heart and sooth his lonely soul. His eyelids slowly closed and he whispered in a breath "Thank you cowboy."
"You are welcome Buck."
Itís nearly a month since he came here. The Whiteís farm looked like a piece of heaven, all green and filled with life. Such a contrast with the desert that lay not too many miles ahead.
Days around this place run quietly and joyful and Buck felt like being home.
Under the bright noon sun and perched on the corral fence he cheered as another horse was finally tamed by competent, skilled and loving hands. The manís passion for these animals was something almost touchable, he had his way with them, talking, petting and then rewarding those that obeyed him with fresh and sweet apples. It was a amazing sight to enjoy, the way Chris connected with the beautiful creatures.
The blond still mounted in his last conquer, a stunning black colt, closed his distance to Buck, "This one might still give me some trouble. But look at him!" Extending an arm towards his friend, Chris beckoned for him to approach. "Wanna a ride?"
Buck caressed the silky dark mane that cascaded all over the black fur coat of the wild young horseís long neck. Itís beauty was something impressive, worthy of serving kings and princes. "Give me some space there!"
Chris took Buckís arm into his and helped him to seat in front of him. No one talked about a lonely ride. Leaning over the other manís back he whispered, "Are you ready?" Buck never answered because with a quick move of Chrisís feet the horse flashed into a crazy run through green fields and trees.
The wind against their faces a pleasant sensation as well the shared warmth that started to take hold of the two human bodies. Chrisís body clinged to Buckís back, just two thin layers of fabric between them, his breath softly tickling under an ear. A half moan, half laughter escaped Buckís lips and he leaned back as he grabbed the hand that lightly rested on his stomach. Lips traveled on his nape and a warm and velvety tongue helped to trace a map of pure lust. His bodyís arousal was no longer a discreet state, nor was Chrisís. Buck tried with all his will to get even closer to the blond fire behind him but nothing he did was enough to satisfy his need of union and release.
"Letís stop a bit cowboy?" his voice was reduced to a shallow breath. Chris allowed his hand to slide inside Buckís pants waistband. Seductively he whispered across Buckís face "Do you really want me to stop?" His answer was a confusion of head nods and shakes. He chuckled amused. Buck sensed Chris legs move and the horse slowing its pace.
They found themselves in a place surrounded with tall and pointy rocks, from which a small cascade fell into a cristaline pond. A natural emerald carpet glistened with wet freshness under the sun rays. Two big trees provided shade and shelter from the summer heat.The secluded place surged like magic. Itís exuberant nature calling to years of loving and passionate encounters.
Both men were being called by that same nature, one that could not accept the denials or hypocrite rules set by society. They lay down on the ground, legs and arms entertwined, fingers and lips stroking sensitive bodies, tongues claiming for a taste of something that they could not yet call love. Skin colliding with skin as clothes were eagerly discarded. Hot trails were created along two young and godlike frames. Their minds blank for this moment only passion envolved and fired their souls.
Deep sapphire eyes widened and found their mirror in two pools of green. Their foreheads touched, their chests molded on one another. They merged enclosed in a blessed and srong grip. Together they saw the future in their eyes. A heat, a dream, a wish, a promise. Together they cried their names in a white explosion.
As earth and time seemed to paralize, only the gentle wind blew over the tired lovers, spreading their cries and pledges all through the universe.
+ + + + + + +
Their relationship developed and grew in the months living in the farm. They became their boss favorite men to deal with the horses and as well as to take care of his personal protection during long or short journeys. Mr. Whiteís small kids were just allowed to learn how to mount and ride because it would be Chris their teacher. All the trust both men received was topped with raising salaries, not to mention new and bigger quarters that were shared just by the two of them.
They became respected among their co-workers. But they also were being envied. Why all the glories had to go only for Mr. Larabee and Mr. Wilmington? Why only those two cocky boys had all the fortune while those who worked hard for years had not even the half they had in less than tem months? Dark feelings and wishes secretly ate up some of those so called Chris and Buckís good friends. They could not be all that virtue and braveness. Their masks needed to be destroyed. And soon.
+ + + + + + +
Studying his few clothes Chris was selecting wich were the best ones. He picked two shirts, one plain lightyellow and the other a dark checkered blue. Two pairs of matching pants and a sandy jacket.His best pair of boots. He was careful and methodically folding his choices when a cheerful Buck entered their cabin.
"Already packing?" Buck asked while seating on the edge of Chrisís bed beside his pensive and too quiet lover. He put his arm around Chris waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. "What is it, Chris? Are you not happy about this trip? Youíll get the chance to see San Francisco! All the fancy and fun! I just wish I could go with you this time."
Chris turned to face Buck and closed their embrace, resting his face in the warm and pulsing crook of Buckís neck. He inhaled the fresh and seducing smell of wood that was characteristic of Buckís cologne. Tightening his hold around the tall man he let a sigh escape from his lips. "You know this is the first journey I do without you since our meeting. Too much time apart. Itíll be too lonely in those hotel rooms.."
Buck tenderly grinned then kissed the temple brushing his jaw. "I do hope so darling." He whispered almost to himself, knowing that the possibilities of Chris meeting someone nice, like a perfect girl to wed, were very high this time. Chris and their boss would be visiting some rather important and rich families, during Mr. Whiteís politic campaign. Somewhere, someone would at least try to conquer his cowboyís heart. Buck was certain of that. With such fears crossing his spirit he laid down on the bed, bringing Chrisís lean body on top of his and dragging his mouth into a frenzied kiss.
When they broke the kiss to regain some air Buck broadly smiled while Chrisís fingertips caressed and denuded his torso." Itíll be your birthday by the time youíre back. Iíll have a little surprise for you, my love." Chris raised his eyes, a glint of curiosity on them, his eyebrows arched as he lowered his head to deposit a brief kiss over Buckís heart. Giving the man beneath him a charming and wicked grin he teased. "Why donít you try and surprise me right now?"
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